Saturday, May 19, 2012

Alhamdulillah... I'm sitting on a smile!


This isn't the moon, but its just as great!
{Photo courtesy: m.flikie.com}

Yes, today’s one of those days. You know which one… The one where you’re feeling dragged down by the weight of all that needs to be done in life.  Where you, the superhero/heroine sees your powers and accomplishments as just plain ordinary or to best, just lacking.  Where that special cape – the face that you put on – just seems like a worn out piece of cloth.  Where your must-do list in life is dragging your fuel gauge to a notch below zero.  Ah, that must-do list…  The list that includes that career you’re aiming for but its still a long steep way to the moon, that baby you’re ready for but each month the test turns out “negative” in delivering the anticipated news, that dream house you’ve been searching for that you know is out there – but your realtor just can't see it, that much needed vacation - the thought of which at times gets you through the long working hours of the day and that you can almost feel under your feet – planted ankle-deep into the warm sand as the waves playfully lap against you at the beach - but as soon as you open your eyes, you’re back looking down to see your hands holding the dish that you’re washing – realizing that this year too, that vacation won’t be possible because you promised your kid the summer camp last year.  And the list can go on... as same disappointments in different forms.  But let’s stop to regroup and refocus our energy into the great things that are going on instead.  Let’s stop to smile at all things there are to smile about.

In order to look forward, we at times need to turn around and look at the long beaten path behind us.   Just how much have you accomplished already in this short life - no matter your age - in order to stand here? So what that you’re not exactly at that spot in your career by now as you planned?  Atleast you made it through grad school, or highschool, or even that crazy subject that you “just knew” that you won’t pass cause you were so sure that “Mr. T hates me and caught me snoozing in class once”.  But you did! So what, that your pregnancy test is taking its time to give the “positive” news?  Atleast you’re blessed with so much love for your spouse whom you can’t wait to have a child with.  So what, that your dream house doesn’t seem to exist exactly like you envisioned it, out there? Atleast, you’re in the financial position to have the option to choose where you live whereas many people in the world don’t even own the sidewalks that they sleep on.  And so what that this year too you’re not seeing a time-slot open to be able to take that dream vacation you’ve been planning for years? Take a weekend to yourself or share it with your loved one, while having your child(ren) spend the weekend at a friend’s or a caring relative’s!  And make the most – as you would on your vacation, out of those two days.  Atleast your hands are full (with love) instead of being empty with needs, loneliness, and regrets. 

Every single day when we wake up, we choose whether it’ll be a good one or not. Yes, that obnoxious passenger on the public transport screaming all the words of the profanity dictionary on his phone, your boss’s “I’m feeling under the weather and now must make you pay” attitude, or that angry venting customer that came to complain about the world and today you just don’t have the upbeat energy for it… might be factors too.  But realize that they’re just having a bad day, and you won’t let that define your day as bad too.  Learn to not sweat the small stuff.  So, as I was saying… the only way we choose a good day is by being grateful for all the good that we have, and believing the stuff that we don’t… will eventually come if Allah Wills.  For He Alone Knows what is best for you.  So tomorrow, as you wake up and feel the blues hanging heavy onto your legs and preventing that skip to your step… When Shaytan tries to ruin your day with showing you all the stuff to feel sad and stressed about, punch him! That’s right… I said it!  Hit him where it hurts, by simply… remembering Allah.  Be grateful!  Remember Allah – whether by talking to him, taking His Name, a recited surah, or through formal dua in namaz.  And Allah will calm the troubled waves that started to churn in your soul, and will Remind you of all the blessings that He has Provided you with all around you… Till you start to lose count.  And that’s when you’ll feel the clouds part to make room for His light in you again. 

So put on that “cape” of gratitude and continue to fly through your amazing life, and be that hero/ine that you are – to atleast that one person (that has popped up in your head right now) – that you are to!  Enjoy all the little stops along your journey to your “moon”… your goals.  Yes, today was a day when a “super-hero/ine” as you needed some refueling.  So what?  Your blessings are countless - and more follows with each time you give gratitude.  So, grab a handful on your way out and fuel your soul with Allah’s light! 


Al Qur'an:
“Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth; a likeness of His light is as a niche in which is a lamp, the lamp is in a glass, (and) the glass is as it were a brightly shining start, lit from a blessed olive-tree, neither eastern nor western, the oil whereof almost gives light though fire touch it not – light upon light – Allah guides to His light whom He pleases, and Allah sets forth parables for men, and Allah is Cognizant of all things.” {Surah An-Noor 24:35}
“And if you would count Allah’s favors, you will not be able to number them; most surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” {Surah An-Nahl 16:18}
“Whoever does good whether male or female and he is a believer, We will most certainly make him live a happy life, and We will most certainly give them their reward for the best of what they did.
So when you recite the Quran, seek refuge with Allah from the accursed Shaitan,
Surely he has no authority over those who believe and rely on their Lord.” {Surah An-Nahl 16:97-99}

“Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.” {Surah Ar-Rad 13:28}

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” {Surah Ibrahim 14:7}
 The time when prayers were answered for Prophet Ibrahim (pbuh) no matter his age…
“And inform them of the guest of Ibrahim: When they entered upon him, they said, Peace. He said: Surely we are afraid of you. They said: Be not afraid, surely we give you the good news of a boy, possessing knowledge.  He said: Do you give me good news (of a son) when old age has come upon me? Of what then do you give me good news!  They said: We give you good news with truth, therefore be not of the despairing.” {Surah Al-Hijr 15:51-55}

Hadith:
Abu Huraira (r) reported: The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم (pbuh) said, “Look to those with a lesser status than you and do not look to those with a higher status, lest the favors of Allah seem insignificant to you.{Sahih Muslim, Book 42, number 7070}

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم  (pbuh) said: “Do not talk too much without remembering and mentioning Allah, for too much talk without mentioning Allah hardens the heart, and the person farthest from Allah is the one with a hard heart.{Tirmidhi}

“Remember Allah during times of ease and He will remember you during times of difficulty” {Tirmidhi}
Dua:
Ibn ‘Abbas (r) reported, “The Prophet, peace be upon him, at times of sorrow and grief used to supplicate, La ilaha illa Allah Al-’Azim, Al-’Alim, la ilaha illa Allah, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Azim, la ilaha illa Allahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshi karim (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.” {Bukhari and Muslim}



Anas (r) said that when the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate, “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace). 
{Tirmidhi}
Abu Hurairah (r) reported that whenever the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would raise his head to the sky and supplicate, “Subhan-Allah al-’Azim (glory be to Allah, the Mighty).” And when he implored seriously and strongly, he would say “Ya Hayyu, Ya Qayyum (O the Living, the Eternal One).”
 {Tirmidhi}

Abu Bakr (r) reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplications of distress are, ‘Allahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain, wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaha illa anta (O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, so give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye, and set right all my affairs, there is no god but You).”
 {Abu Daw’ud}



Words of Wisdom:
"Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.” {Anonymous}

"There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy." {Ralph H. Blum}

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sing & Dance In The Rain


 "I'm singin' in the rain" Klaud Weiss
{Photo courtesy Klaud Weiss}

My husband and I had just finished coming back to bed after praying Fazr salath and just as we were about to fall asleep, we got startled when his cellphone rang out that early in the morning.  By the time he got to answering it, the caller had already left a voice mail.  
“Kkk…kaku” sobbed the male voice over the loudspeaker.  “Kaku…” he repeated. “Ami deshey choley jacchi.  Amma mara gechey”.  Translation…“Uncle, I’m going back home. Mom has passed away”.
We both stared at the phone for a few seconds absorbing the news, and then quickly remembered to say  “Inna lil lahi, wa inna ilaihi rajiun” meaning 'Surely we belong to God and to Him shall we return' (Quran 1:156).  After calling his cousin’s teenage son back and trying to comfort him as best as he knew how, for my husband too had lost a parent - his father, almost six years back - he came to join me at the living-room couch.  The sun was starting to come up now and we both stared passed our glass patio door at the beautiful orange and blue unveiling of the night sky to announce the coming day, just beyond all the green of the trees ahead. How magnificently light manages to rationalize and dismiss our darkest fears!
He almost whispered, “I’m feeling so incredibly sad”. 
“I know honey” I paused… “Alhamdulillah though.  Just imagine how lucky you and I are – to be given one more day to wake-up.  One more day to try to do good and undo any of the bad that we’ve done” I said to him, while he took my hand in his and nodded slowly in agreement. 
“Yeah, but… tomorrow I can be on the other side of that line sobbing for my mother”. And we both sat quietly for a while knowing the reply to that.  It can be any of us reaching out to our close ones, on the other side of that line, mourning the loss of a loved one. 
Sometimes we tend to have a carefree outlook that our “clock” isn’t ticking, and only the other person's are. Maybe its the mature ego defence of "suppression" in order to voluntarily withhold some unacceptable thought in order to go on happily in life.  Or maybe its just plain forgetfulness, when we hear that someone young has passed away, we often enough are shocked and exclaim, 
“But he was so young!”.  
We forget that we all - no matter what our age or our condition – have a ticker on us called the heart, just beating away. At times thumping with sorrow, other times beating happily,  pounding passionately away…and while at other times, just quietly ticking.  But this post isn't about death... Its the reminder of life!  But one cannot talk about the other, without mentioning both.  Just as one cannot think of darkness without remembering the absence and value of light.  
We’ve all mourned the loss of someone – human or animal – close to us… whether by death, or other form of painful separation – an ache which isn’t a stranger, but a generous friend in many faces - that spares none of us its many visits.  Its only human to mourn and shed tears when faced with grief,  and was best adviced by a noble Moroccan Shaykh (may Allah bless and preserve him) saying that, ‘weeping is a prayer that will surely be answered’.  But we should also remember through such trying times as prescribed by Islam, not to act bewildered, erratic, and say anything that will displease or insult the Creator.  We have to practice Sabr – the Islamic virtue of “patience” or “endurance” as one of the two parts of faith (the other being Shukr meaning “gratitude”). Each of our souls were sent here when He Wanted, and will be taken back When He Wills.   No matter what we might believe, we belong to not even ourselves, other than to Him.  And the only surety of life for anyone - is death.  While the biggest un-surety is whether we will wake-up to see another day, or be given another chance at it – to do better, be better than yesterday.  That’s why at the hearing of the passage of another departed soul – we should be humbled as close to the ground as possible while striving to go about life the way we would want to be recalled, remembered with fondness and laughs, missed with tears out of pure love, and prayed for with utter sincerity.  

Let’s strive each day to make it so great that when we meet Our Maker, we can stand in front of Him humbly without fear and with Him Smiling.  So that we can account for what we did with that beautiful vessel, our body - in which He sent the Angels to Blow our souls into – account for every action, words spoken, tears shed, and silence held – by each one of us.  How can you deny any of the accounts – when it was He Who Watched you when you took your first steps and Watched on as you took every step after that, till you came to a stop at the end of the path leading upto Him?  

So, even though He Knows already… Have a great story waiting, which you can’t wait to tell Him.  Go ahead…Tell Him how you sang and danced in the rain, through the storms instead of running for the shade... Just as you did through the storms of life that He Tested you with.  And in the meantime, maybe while Waiting for you to reach Him, even Allah will have to Take a peak again and again at the end of your story – just like you would do if you were to re-read a favorite storybook of yours - which you couldn’t wait to get to the end of.


Al Qur'an:
“Wherever you are, death will find you out, even if you are in towers built up strong and high!...” {Surah An-Nisa 4:78}


“It is God that takes the souls (of men) at death; and those that die not (He takes) during their sleep: those on whom He has passed the decree of death, He keeps back (from returning to life) but the rest He sends (to their bodies) for a term appointed. Verily in this are Signs for those who reflect.” {Quran: Surah Al-Zumar 39:42}

Hadith:
“Narrated by Ibn Umar (radiAllahu anhu) that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: "Increase your remembrance of the One which defeats pleasures" In this regard to life and death - our beloved Prophet (pbuh) said:  ''Do for your life as if you are to live eternally, and do for the hereafter as if you are to die tomorrow. ''

“Sa’d ibn ‘Ubadah (radiAllahu anhu) fell ill with some complaint that he suffered from, and the Prophet (pbuh) came to visit him, accompanied by some of his companions.  When he entered and found him in a coma, he asked, ‘Has he passed away?’ They said, ‘No, O’ Messenger of Allah.’  The Messenger (pbuh) of Allah wept, and when the people saw him weeping, they wept too.  He said, ‘Are you not listening?  Allah will not punish a man for the tears that fall from his eyes or for the grief that he feels in his heart, but He will either punish or have mercy on a man because of this,’ and he pointed to his to his tongue.” {narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar; Bukhari and Muslim}

The Prophet (pbuh) wept as his son Ibrahim (ra) passed away, and said to the Companions when they were surprised by this:
‘Not this do I forbid. These are the promptings of tenderness and mercy, and he that is not merciful; unto him shall no mercy be shown. O Ibrahim, if it were not that the promise of reunion is sure, and that this is a path which all must tread, and that the last of us shall overtake the first, verily we should grieve for you with a yet greater sorrow. Yet, we are stricken indeed with sorrow for you, O Ibrahim. The eye weeps, and the heart grieves, nor say we anything that would offend the Lord.’


Words of Wisdom:
The greatest use of a life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” {Anonymous}



Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass,
It’s about dancing in the rain” {Anonymous}




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Spring Cleaning


Making Space For Something Better
{Picture courtesy: http://files.myopera.com/hazanmakami/blog}
Our 4 month old kitten, Zumar, is terrified of the vacuum cleaner.  Whenever he sees the blue machine coming out of the closet, I don’t have enough time to uncoil the wire and plug it in, before turning to watch Zumar run off every single time to our bedroom.  And that’s where he’ll stay until its all done with and till I announce in a sing-song tone “Zumi, shesh!!!”. Translation of the Bangla… “Zumi, its done!!!”.  Only then, he’ll come out of his hiding from behind our bed.

While vacuuming last Saturday evening (yes, I know…  Its just that we were home, and while my darling husband was busy with some official work on the computer, I thought that I might as well get it over with then), as I entered our bedroom – I caught Zumar peering out from behind our bed to confirm his worst fear, as he watched me rolling in the vacuum cleaner. So I said,
“Zumi, this is for your own good… You just don’t know it now. Don’t be scared, it’ll all be over soon baby.  I promise.”

Right after I finished assuring him, it came to me…

Sometimes, some things get taken away from us that holds great value at that point in our lives. We get into the habit of the comfort of having it around, and just as soon as we settle into it like a warm, worn-out blanket, we’re thrown into having to adapt to an unfamiliar environment with its absence.  At that very moment – we have the choice of being terrified and worry about everything that's going on, or feel the fear but be brave enough to be patient and calm while surrendering to the reality that there are things beyond our comprehension and control.  Those are the things that we trust and allow Allah (or your choice of “Higher Being”) to “clean up” for us.  That thing, that we thought best for us but instead there's something, as they say "bigger and better" for us still.  So, in order to make room for that better something, this has to be taken away.  


As I told Zumar... You just don't know it now, but it'll all be over soon. Don't be scared. Maybe Zumar didn't understand all the words spoken, but he surely understood the tone...which sounded the same as when I tell him "Zumi, I love you". If you can silence your fear just enough to listen to the tone...you'll hear it.  Whoever it is - that is the Guardian of your well-being... loves you enough to give you only what is the best for you.



Al Qur'an: 
“And Allah sends down rain from the skies, and gives therewith life to the earth after its death: verily in this is a Sign for those who listen.” {Surah Al-Nahl 13:65 ~ Qur’an}




Hadith:


"When Allah tests you, it is never intended to destroy you. When He removes something in your possession, it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift." {Ibn al-Qayyim}



Dua:
Whatever happens, when someone is patient and says the dua that the Prophet - sal Allâhu alayhi wa sallam - taught us, that person will be blessed with something better.  The Dua is as follows:  “Inna lillâhi wa inna Ilayhi râji’ûn. Allâhumma ‘jurnî fî musîbatî, wakhluf lî khayrun minh.” {Umm Salamah (radi Allâhu ‘anha} 


Words of Wisdom:
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength.” {Cornelia "Corrie" ten Boom}